In-Humane Resources at MUM

My second visit to Maharishi University of Management (MUM) was far more fruitful than my first. Though I had originally applied for the MVS online degree program, the university contacted me by phone suggesting, perhaps, their desire for me to “join their team” in the marketing department. [voicemail included below]

My mention, in prior correspondence with university’s representatives, of my wife’s academic background seemed to prompt their up-sell, attempting to loop her into the process when ultimately she harbored little interest in their program.

When I later returned the call I discovered they were interested in my participation in a “business incubator” project. They wanted to leverage my graphic design, web site, and mobile application development skills — claiming that it would be “lucrative.”

Therefore, one component of my relationship with the university included an employment-like — Quid pro quo — opportunity in the field of marketing, informatics, or information technology. I found this to be rather strange as the university boasts of it’s exceptional IT and Computer Science programs.

It was a logical step, as advised, to convene with the university’s Director of Human Resources located in the building just west of the ‘Drier Building’ which gives residency to the Marketing Department, Admissions, Financial Aid, Student Life, and departments of this nature. Our dialog progressed as one might expect, I disclosed much my motivation and inspiration in the scope of the ancient Vedic traditions of the world and universe. Moreover, our dialog included my conveyance of proficiency in branding, service oriented architecture, client and server side scripting in the order of object oriented programming, database administration, and vocations of the like.

I was under the impression that the confluence between my interest in the university, and its interest in me, had leant to his response which communicated what the school could offer me.

In the scope of housing, the school could offer me residency in their trailer park known formally by the oxymoronic moniker “UTOPIA PARK – The Homes by the Domes”. As I continue, understand that I harbor not any disrespect for anyone residing in a “trailer park” or modular home. While my finely crafted furniture would surely not fit in the door of one of these “homes” — likely causing collapse under the weight of it all — I congenially entertained the dialog as he continued to iterate on the full package of benefits which , in part, hinged upon my participation in their Transcendental Meditation Sidhi program.

In the scope of economic compensation, a monthly stipend of $600.00 USD suggested an additional $6K per year, with a $2k tuition credit in tow. But even afoot my Federal and State Grants it still fell $2k shy of the $26k USD tuition, requiring me to assume an additional $10k USD liability in Federal Student Loans.

In the scope of health benefits; nutrition; the university offered free vegetarian meals — during the dinning hall hours. But then it got interesting when I inquired about actual “health care” benefits. He proceeded to BITCH gratuitously spew his disgust for Barack Obama and the Affordable Care Act in the middle of the interview. I could hardly believe that this purveyor of peace, love, and harmony would be so formally un-patriotic in a professional context.

I didn’t wan’t to commit the non-sequitur fallacy of presumption and make a hasty generalization — such as “this fine fellow is Rush Limbaugh in disguise” — because I served this country that everyone could continue to have the right to formulate their own political attitudes and opinions; land of the FREE, and home of the BRAVE. I found this behavior particularly suspect within the scope of his role as Director of Human Resources. At the end of the day, perhaps in desperate search of euphony, I simply deemed his actions as unprofessional — particularly for a university which boasts the word “Management” in it’s title.

But it didn’t stop there, I handed him some samples of my design work and communicated how I can pretty much design nearly anything, including fine jewelry; I showed him my ring — and subsequently my wrist which was adorned by the Russian diver’s timepiece. Suddenly, he seemed to be overcome by some strange trance-like force as he uttered

WE … LIKE … GOLD.

I made haste.

gold jewelry and accessories

While Maharishi University of Management claims that Transcendental Meditation induces a trance of brain wave coherence, so too does gold jewelry and accessories.

BTW, in respect to the Marketing Department’s offer to “join the team here”, it never quite materialized. The IT Department had conveyed a wild card possibility of working the “help desk”, but I declined.

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